To Eat... Or Not to Eat

Out of our ten-chicken flock, we have two roosters. One, George, is very quiet, gentle, and well-mannered. The other, Alex, couldn't be more polar opposite. He's also bigger. Gotta love mother nature.


Alex is, to put it bluntly, an asshole. I have been attacked by him several times now. Luckily I always win, but he's a persistent thing.


Alex also makes a point to crow ALL hours of the day and night. Literally, I'll wake up in the middle of the night to hear him crowing. He's a loud, obnoxious asshole.


I want him gone. My husband, not so much. He seems to think Alex is beneficial through his ability to protect the flock. I'm not convinced. I think George would make a much better flock patriarch. Alex is a nuisance. He's nothing but dead weight to me.


But, this brings us to my dilemma. If we were to rid ourselves of this pest, we have two options: Give him away, or have him smothered in BBQ sauce.


Giving him away would be easier (if he were nicer), but I can't imagine too many people wanting an asshole rooster. I surely don't.


Then there's the matter of having him for dinner. More specifically, the matter of execution. I've never hunted or killed anything other than a rabbit driving to work one morning, and distraught doesn't even begin to cover how I felt after that. There's no way I could do Alex in with my bare hands, unless maybe he was attacking me or my son. Then I probably could. Still, something detached, from a far range, that would be my weapon of choice. Of course, if it really was up to me, I'd put my husband in charge of it. But that probably won't happen since Alex has won my husband's favor.


Alex is a big guy, at least ten pounds and probably closer to fifteen. He'd make a great meal, there's no doubt about that. But I just have too much compassion, too big of a heart to summon the courage to do Alex in, even if he is an asshole.


But you better watch out Dr. Karev. You're on my list.