Chicken Castles

Being a backyard farmer isn't easy, especially with a lack of experience.

Well, I'm not completely inexperienced.

I did inherit a chicken from my cousin when I was younger. I think she may have been a Rhode Island Red, and I'm basing that on the fact that I remember she was brown and laid brown eggs--that's all I've got.

Helen (yes, I named her Helen) was a very friendly chicken. In fact, she loved escaping the coop my dad built and visiting the neighbors. Despite our best efforts, Helen was quite the escape artist. I probably should have named her Houdini.

I didn't realize it then, but if a full grown chicken is able to escape her coop, that's a bad sign. If things can get out, that means things can just as easily get in. And, unfortunately, that's exactly what happened. We're not sure what, but something paid Helen a midnight visit and turned her into a midnight snack, leaving nothing but a few feathers behind.

In my childish naivety, I thought maybe she got out again. I thought she was taking a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. But, after a quick search in neighboring backyards, it was clear Helen was not coming back. Crestfallen, I could only assume the worst.

That was my first attempt at being a backyard farmer, and I wouldn't exactly call it successful. Well, I wouldn't call my next few attempts successful either. Looking back, I wish I would have remembered Helen's story before I tried again. Maybe I would have realized that chicken coops just don't cut it. No, to keep your chickens in and predators out, you need a chicken castle.

Last week I would have thought we finally achieved chicken castle status. I mean, the entire thing is enclosed with chicken wire, the perimeter has concrete-filled trenches around it, and the actual coop is two and a half feet off the ground. Impenetrable!

Not quite.

I've caught the cat in there three times last week, and something, I'm not sure what, is digging under the steel wire tunnel we made for them to run around in. So impenetrable.

You see, building a coop isn't just about keeping chickens in, but keeping everything else out. And everything else will find a way in. It's not a matter of if, but when. 

And when everything else gets in, you will be overcome with anger and sadness as you walk into an empty coop, just like I was (a few times, unfortunately).

So forget building chicken coops. If you want to be a successful backyard farmer, build chicken castles, and never ever assume your chickens are safe. Believe me, I failed at those two things the entire summer, and not surprisingly, failed (epically) at being a backyard farmer.

And I didn't start succeeding until my chickens had a castle to call their own, concrete moat and everything.